GUEST EDITORIAL

5 thoughts on “GUEST EDITORIAL”

  1. Dear Dominic,
    I sincerely hope that your health is improving.
    As I don’t know what else to say on that subject, I will get straight to the point of this post: Please, why are your eBooks only available as Kindle versions??? I bought the first few for my Kobo, and now I can’t continue with Ant & Chloe because I seem to belong to the wrong e reader club…
    Please, please make them available for Kobo owners too!
    Many thanks, and sincere good wishes re your health
    Kerstin

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    1. Hi Kerstin

      I’m fine, thanks – just a wee bit of a scar and an oddly lopsided feeling from losing half a rib. I’m sorry to hear about your Kobo problem. I will look into it. Which book are you up to?

      Cheers

      Dominic Green

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      1. Hi Dominic,

        That is happy news indeed then! I hope your health improves and you lose that lopsided feeling too! At least it was only half a rib and not something vital like a leg, or some other important bit! 🙂 It must have been s scary time for you, but fingers crossed it is now sorted.
        Many thanks for your reply! I honestly never expected you to write back, and now I feel really bad because I was so terribly rude! I didn’t think you’d even read my post… 😦 That will teach me to vent my frustration like that!
        In answer to your question, I am up to Alpha 4.
        Hope you keep on getting better!
        Best wishes
        Kerstin

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  2. You have probably been told this before. In no. 8 there are two very different proposal scenes between Chad and Penny. Vladlena appeared in the cave with Bob when she was somewhere completely different.
    Anyways. I have really enjoyed Ant&Cleo and am working on a review that reflects that.

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    1. I haven’t been told that before, but I have corrected the problem – a new version of *The Moon A Ghostly Galleon* has just been released. In order to stop you having to shell out another 99p for a new copy, however, the changed scene is printed in full below:

      It has just been pointed out to me that there are two separate different and conflicting BrontoBurger scenes in *The Moon A Ghostly Galleon*. Boy, is my face red. I have corrected this in a new version of the book which should hit Kindle in a few hours’ time. However, in order to ensure none of you have to pay an extra 99p to get a new version of the book, the changed scene is printed in full below (spoiler alert – this is from episode 8 of Ant and Cleo. If you haven’t read that far yet, ignore this post).

      ***
      Cleo looked at Ant over her Ginkgo Marie Celeste and his Ceratops Hornysteak. Outside the restaurant, which Ant believed was called BrontoBurger, the massive shapes of carrion pterosaurs, some of them larger than the building, circled. The restaurant, like many prefabricated hab units turned out by Mazarin Eezihomes, was essentially an aluminium alloy box; the box was crumpled and bent inward about halfway along the restaurant’s ceiling. When Ant had asked, the waitress had shrugged and said: ‘Big Badassaurus did that six months back, lifted the whole building clean off the deck and shook it. No big deal, if the Dino Alarm goes off, strap yourself into your seat with the four-point belt provided and wait till that dumb old charcharodontosaurid realizes restaurants taste nasty…’
      The restaurant was outside the massive walls of the main settlement. The party’s Stratojitneys had been left on idle, floating ten metres above ground level, moored to a mast outside.
      “So, let me get this straight”, said Cleo. She was wearing a badge saying HI! I NEARLY GOT EATEN! which had entitled her to a whole Ceratops Hornysteak for free under what the restaurant called its Eat-Them-Before-They-Eat-Us policy. As Cleo allowed no meat to pass her lips, Ant was eating her Hornysteak for her. “You thought you were going to come over here, set down, tell Penny Richard might still be alive, might be not, and watch her simply drop her new life and new relationship and join you on a highly dangerous life-threatening mission looking for Richard behind enemy lines.”
      “Well, I don’t know how women work”, explained Ant.
      “You don’t know how people work, Ant! How would you feel if you’d met somebody”, she said, looking thoughtfully across the restaurant at Chad’s latissimus dorsi muscles as he picked at his food opposite Penny with his shirt off, “pretty much entirely perfect, and someone breezed in and said ‘oh, by the way, there’s a slim chance your previous-boyfriend-who-was-never-actually-your-boyfriend-anyway-but-who-certainly-liked-you-a-whole-lot might not be entirely dead’.”
      At the back of the building, Ant heard a door open and a voice yell up at the sky: “SHOO! SCAT! GET OUTA THE GARBAGE, YOU EVOLUTIONARY DEAD ENDS!”
      The sky shrieked back like an early Eighties hit record.
      “I never thought of it like that”, said Ant, stirring his salad around. The meat on his plate, being meat, had been cut up and fried and tenderized until he had no idea what species it came from – that much he was used to. However, he did not recognize a single fruit or vegetable in front of him.
      “You didn’t think of it at all, Ant. That’s what you need me for. Your brain was sadly created by almighty God without a common sense centre. I am the your Voice Of Reason and you Know I Make Sense.”
      Ant looked up, intensely frustrated.
      “Well, what are we going to do about it, then?” Over at the next table, Chad, who had lit a single dinosaur-fat candle on the table after deftly standing up on a table and disabling the restaurant’s smoke detector, was deep in conversation with Penny. He had asked that the two be left to sit alone. They had, he said, something important to discuss.
      “I wonder what he’s lit that candle for”, said Ant. “The ambient lighting in here is perfectly adequate in my opinion.”
      “Oh my god”, said Cleo, without turning round in her seat to look. “He’s lit a candle?”
      “It’s all right”, said Ant. “The electric lights in the ceiling are still working, look.” He pointed up at the electric lights in the ceiling. “There’s no need to panic.”
      “Are there flowers on the table? Pretty flowers?”
      “There are flowers on the table”, said Ant. “As a man, I feel unable to comment on their prettiness.” He looked around the restaurant. “Funny, there don’t seem to be any on any of the other tables.”
      “Anthony, you numbnuts. Look in his right pocket. Does he have a suspicious box-shaped bulge in there at all?”
      Ant had absolutely no idea where this was going. His hand moved towards his Orgonizer. “Do you think he might be a Sternekind?”
      “ANTHONY”, whispered Cleo, “he’s going to PROPOSE to her.”
      “Propose what? A more effective means of stopping pterodactyl-strike in commercial starships? A new and far superior method of dropping tourists onto spiky dinosaurs out of Stratojitneys? Oh.”
      With that oh came a moment of dread realization greater even than the one Ant had felt back on Earth when his father had come home without his mother and started packing bags. And then he saw Chad’s weight shift on his chair, clearly in preparation for a drop to one knee in front of Penny, and saw the box come out of his pocket, and –
      He was up out of his chair and moving toward the other table before his conscious mind even registered the fact.
      “ANTHONY!” hissed Cleo. “COME BACK HERE!”
      He ignored Cleo.
      “COME BACK HERE or so help me I will SHOOT YOU -”
      He turned and glared defiantly back at Cleo. In answer, she began struggling with the flap on her Orgonizer holster. Ant’s eyes went wide – he turned to break into a run. Behind him, he heard a clatter of chairs and tables as Cleo attempted to spring cat-like out of her seat after him. However, before he’d even lengthened his stride, Penny’s face lit up. He had never seen a woman’s face light up that way. He imagined this was the sort of thing that happened to men like Chad. He didn’t begrudge it to Chad. He liked Chad.
      “Oh dear”, said Cleo. “Oh, oh, oh dear.”
      He looked back at her; she was on the floor in the middle of a tangle of restaurant furniture, Orgonizer in hand. The Orgonizer’s fire selector was set to HAPPY; the weapon had just fired.
      “Oh lordy”, said Cleo, reactivating the Orgonizer’s safety. “Oh, Chad, I am so sorry.”
      Ant turned to look at Chad. He had not yet dropped down to one knee. The box was still only half out of his pocket.
      “Uh – no harm done?” he said. He turned to Penny.
      “Uh – Penny”, he began, “there’s something kind of important I’d like to -”
      “I LIKE NITROGEN”, said Penny, beaming. “IT’S MY FAVOURITE BREATHABLE GAS.”
      Chad stared at the Orgonizer in Cleo’s hand. He narrowed his eyes.
      “It was a misfire”, said Cleo. “I slipped on a piece of dino gristle.”
      Chad’s expression was momentarily murderous, and Cleo thumbed the safety back off her Orgonizer.
      “You did it deliberately”, he said.
      “No, I really didn’t -” started Cleo.
      “You wanted to make Penny so happy she’d say Yes”, said Chad. “And, Cleo, I love you for it, but mind control isn’t a way to a girl’s heart. You should know that, of all people.”
      Ant nodded. “I find girls get all cranky when they find out they’ve been mind-controlled.”
      “Shut up, Ant”, said Cleo.
      “I think”, said Chad, clearly exercising massive self-control, “that it’d be a good idea if you took your Orgonizer elsewhere for a little while.”
      “Er – okay”, said Cleo, and, prompted by a continuing hard stare from Chad, re-holstered the Orgonizer. “Erm. We’ll leave now, then.”
      Chad nodded as if Cleo were acknowledging a cosmic certainty. “I’ll probably need to sit with Penny and talk her down for a little while”, he continued, “and then, maybe tomorrow or the day after, when the time is right, we’ll have another go at, uh”, he finished, putting the box hurriedly back into his pocket, “what we were in the middle of doing today.”
      Cleo took Ant’s arm to draw him towards the door of the restaurant.
      “I don’t want to go”, muttered Ant.
      “Oh, so you heard me offering you a choice?” said Cleo.
      At the door, she turned back to Chad and said:
      “Chad, I really do hope she says Yes.”
      Chad stared back at her with a suddenly desolate face and said:
      “So do I.”
      As they left the restaurant, Ant muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Cleo: “What was that? You actually want them to get married? You hardly know him!”
      “I feel a deep intimate bond between us”, said Cleo. “He punched a dinosaur in the face to save my life, Ant!” She grabbed Ant by the lapel and emphasized: “In the face!”
      They looked back through the restaurant window. Penny was sitting in her chair drooling happily. Chad had his back to her, had taken the box from his pocket again, had flipped the lid open, and was staring at what was inside, brooding magnificently. What was inside sparkled.
      “It’s a Krellian diamond”, said Cleo. “Oh, the lucky cow.”
      “Are there diamonds on Krell?” said Ant. “I never knew.”
      “The planet of Krell gets popped like a ripe zit once every orbit”, said Cleo. “Novyeye Zemlya and Krell pass each other close enough to cause tides in each other’s oceans, half the Winter Palace on Novyeye Zemlya has to be rebuilt, and every other volcano on Krell erupts. The planet is constantly turning itself inside out, and it turns out what’s inside planets is diamonds. In the high mountains of Krell”, she continued, her eyes glittering, “they say that, after dark, there are more stars in the cliffs than there are in the sky. All you need to do to find a diamond is to switch on a blacklight torch.”
      “Common as muck, then”, harrumphed Ant.
      “That doesn’t matter, Ant!” said Cleo. “It’s romantic!” Her face fell almost as high as it had risen. “Unfortunately, that means Richard has a high mountain of his own to climb.”
      “Richard?” said Ant. “What about Richard?”
      “Well”, said Cleo, picking at her salad, “we are going to David 34 to try and find him, aren’t we?”
      Ant nearly swallowed his own tongue in shock.
      ***

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